So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
