I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
