would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
