$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
wow bdsm is so cute
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
