i don't like sucking hair
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize