So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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