So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
