he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
