I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
