Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
