don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You were trust falling into bushes
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
