U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think im going to throw up on grandma
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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