At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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