turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
