i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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