Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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