i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
