Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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