just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
