It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
