I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
