As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
