Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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