"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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