Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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