im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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