he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
