He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
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A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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