apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
