well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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