And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have fence marks all over my body
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
