Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
