it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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