It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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