Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
