it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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