i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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