I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
