ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im holly from the hills drunk
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
