is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
