You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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