This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
