I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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