I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
