I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
