Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
