today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
