He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
