I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
