Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
