there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
