she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
