you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You made out with two different species that night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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