I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What drink are we having for lunch?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The convent might be a nice break from real life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
