How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
