So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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