Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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