You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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