I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
