I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
